Hey you,

Penned letter to myself: to work through emotions I currently feel.

Hey you,

When you have been hurt more times than you can count, or just once…tremendously/ it doesn’t matter. When you have been hurt to the point that you change, that you feel yourself losing parts that you will never have again, to the point that you see the world differently. When you have been hurt sometimes being in your head is the only place that makes sense. So, when people see you as too quiet, to the point that they think you are unhappy, you seem stand offish, you seem like a cold or even boring person, you don’t have to apologize for that. Maybe if life had been different, maybe if you grew up in a field of daisies where the love sprouted from all over and you were rained on by kisses that helped you remember your worth, maybe if the surroundings you had were stable and certain as night coming after morning and morning coming after night, then HEY maybe everything would have been alright. Maybe you would have sprouted and bloomed and shouted at the sun to keep shining on you. But that didn’t happen. You sprouted and bloomed slowly, one petal after another, and you hid from the sun, and you were afraid of the rain, and you lost petals that were ripped from you, and you had to keep re-growing and re-sprouting because things were not ideal. You didn’t grow in a field where the sun and the rain kissed down on you with birds singing and the wind whistling and the clouds shaping hearts, so you grew up differently. You can’t apologize for that. Introverted, in your head, anxious and an over-critical, analytical being...you can’t or shouldn’t apologize for that. You shouldn’t even have to explain. In my head; is where it all makes sense. Outside of that...things get muddied, misinterpreted, and confused and leave you questioning your identity. Inside my head… I question only whether this person or that person is worth me stepping outside. Yes, being in my head, sometimes keeps it limited to what is outside. But I shouldn’t have to explain why I hide. Maybe if things had been different I would be someone else. But they weren’t, and this is who I am. And certainty in who you are and why you are this person, is the most important lesson to work through in life. Who cares about the world and its ideals. You are you, so, love you, cherish you, and celebrate the being you have become, because things weren’t different, but you are, and that is something to cherish and explore.

Teya.